I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
