dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
