Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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