I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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