walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
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