Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
its liver damage thursday
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
