I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I can't put those talents on a resume
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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