I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
We need to get me chipped asap
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
