Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Randomize
