I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
