Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
