NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
