I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I think my moral compass just broke
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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