I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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