Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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