I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
