Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
