Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
