Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
