If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize