How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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