She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
She needs sedatives and a leash
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
