chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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