you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
