I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
