Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
