is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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