We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
