apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize