So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
