im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
