You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
