You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
