I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
