Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
