ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
