Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
