he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
