I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
soo... how was my night?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
