I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
