yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize