he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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