im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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