Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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