Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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