just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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