Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
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