Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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