if i can run in heels then i can drive
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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