You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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