Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
