honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
