Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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