I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
