Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
