I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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