Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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