We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
