I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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