Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
