Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
