I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
