apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
