Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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