Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
