Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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