I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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