Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
